It sucks when a day turns into a milestone that makes you flashback to so much loss. An annual reminder of how long you have lived your life without someone in it. A day you flashback to when you were a child and felt the worse pain imaginable. For 27 years, March 16th has been a day of mourning, a day of feeling incomplete, a day of “why her?”, a day of confusion, a day or feeling alone, a day of tears you can’t hold back even in public, a constant reminder of when my entire world got turned upside down. The day the world lost an incredible woman. My mother.
Every year on this day I go to the cemetery in her memory and it’s never easy. This year I decided to make a special bouquet for her. I am hoping it might help to use symbolism and to honor her instead of focusing so much on the loss of her not being here. I used flowers in some of the bright colors I know she would like. My goal was “let’s brighten such a sad and shitty day…….somehow.” Yes, the pink ribbon symbolizes breast cancer but to me, it also symbolizes that she was a fighter! The owl represents who she was as a person. She loved owls and they remind me of the happier times of my childhood as they decorated the house we lived in. But they are also very wise, strong and beautiful creatures…… just like her.
As another step of trying to focus this creation post in her memory. I want to end it with a photo of her and I that always makes me smile. My Mom was a funny lady and my brother and I get a lot of my personality from her. As you can also see in this photo 🙂 This one’s for you Mom! You may not be here physically, but your spirit will always live on within us. Thank you for giving us the foundation that helps to keep us strong. For the signs, you send to Mike and I that let us know you’re with us or that you know what we are facing. For bringing random people into our lives at just the right times that help to keep us going. Your love shines through them. Thank you for being the woman you were to help me become the woman I am.
Forever is exactly how long I have been obsessed with Jim Henson. When I was little my Dad would take me to the video store to rent a movie and I would always go and grab the same movie.. Labyrinth! I was obsessed and that obsession has never gotten old no matter how much older I have become. If you have read my artist bio on my website you probably got a fun little glimpse of my obsession there.
This portrait is long over due. I started it a while back but with all my health issues I have had set backs when it comes to drawing. I can throw together anything with a glue gun and whip up something in no time when it comes to crafts but when it comes to drawing I like to take my time and put all my energy into the piece. And with this being a tribute to my all time favorite movie I did not want to rush it. I had it partially done sitting on the back burner and told myself it’s time to finish it. For not picking up my pencils since last winter (when I did my Dad’s Big Daddy Roth – Rat Fink portrait for his birthday) I am really happy with the way this one came out even if it took me a while to finish it.
So with that I present to you “It’s Only Forever:….
Prints will be available in my Etsy shop. However with my upcoming ERCP procedure and surgery coming up custom orders will be delayed until I am able to process them. Prints do fall under custom orders because they are printed when they are ordered. Please keep that in mind when ordering.
Want to see the other portrait work I have done? Check out my Spitting Image page on my official portfolio website!
Tomorrow marks another year my Mom has been gone. With the weather being so unpredictable and rumors of more snow tomorrow I decided to take advantage of the sunshine and go to the cemetery today instead. When Frank and I got there I couldn’t believe my eyes. The butterfly bouquet and the porcelain owl I put out there last time was still there and had survived the insane, harsh, deep freeze, Chicago winter! I couldn’t believe it.
I added the new flowers to the mix that was still there and texted my brother about it. I sent along this picture that I took/edited and said…
“They are still here… tough as nails… just like you and me… just like Mom” 😉
His response “hell yeah!”
My Mom might not have conquered cancer but she was the strongest person I have ever known! She was a tough cookie! And remembering that about her is what helped give me strength during my surgery and recovery process this past year. I might have had my break downs but I made it through it and I know she was there for me during it all. All the signs she sent to me and my brother have been taken to heart and seeing this today was yet another reminder of her presence and to stay strong! The irony though. Me even typing the word “strong” while tears roll down my face. I guess no matter how strong you are you can’t help but miss someone so much. To feel like a void is missing from your life that can never be filled. And knowing no matter what you do and no matter who comes in and out of your life that it will never go away. Does that make you a stronger person? A weaker person? Who knows. All that I know is that I miss everything about her and that I will never forget all that she was and all that I hope to be because of her.